Three tips to build genuine connections through kindness.
How many times have you stood in a room full of professionals and felt anxious because networking isn’t your thing? Trust me, these thoughts aren’t foreign to me as the CEO of a two-time Inc. 5000 fastest-growing private company. In my role, I frequently network with some of the most successful business entrepreneurs in the country. But over time, I’ve learned that strong connections aren’t about working the room—they’re about showing up authentically.
Most people dread small talk with strangers, whether in person or when reaching out online. There’s a reason for this anxiety. It’s easy to overthink building rapport with a new acquaintance, as the mind conjures up what to say to win the other person’s trust. The outreach may be grounded in your “why”—your motivation for your actions—but does it consider their “why.” If you’re inwardly thinking about your own goals and needs, the genuineness of the connection may be lost.
When networking, rather than focusing on winning business or getting what you want, place giving and receiving kindness at the center of the interaction. Networking from the heart can transform your own life and multiply opportunities tenfold. Asking someone about the weather, sports, or their brand of watch isn’t impactful—the memory of the conversation will fade quickly. Growing a network requires heartfelt conversations that tap into the core of the connection.
How others approach networking
Business architect Shay Lynch supports the idea that networking comes down to building authentic relationships instead of treating interactions as simple transactions. In conducting interviews with many business owners, he found that “by focusing on these interconnected components, businesses can cultivate a self-sustaining sales ecosystem that nurtures long-term relationships and drives continuous growth.”
Build meaningful relationships with strangers by becoming a kindness giver. Randall McNeely, author of The KindnessGivers’ Formula 2.0, wrote, “We are all human beings who deserve to be valued and appreciated. Kindness knows no barriers.” Kindness transcends to a value grounded in giving, even when we’re networking.
Genuine networking begins when you have an authentic desire to help or learn about a stranger’s “why.” Consider this example of my recent exchange with Ashwin Krishan, who uses his platform to break through barriers and connect on a human level. A stranger to me, he saw content I posted on social media about creating deeper relationships. The post inspired Ashwin to openly discuss that he would host me on his Stand Out in 90 Sec platform; in return, he’ll join me on my I Love Learning podcast to share his passion and desire to create more human connections. Total strangers exchanging thoughtful messages grounded in kindness leads to future opportunities to support each other!
Organic encounters like the one between Ashwin and me are profound because they’re founded on genuine interest. Both our missions focus on saving lives, helping others, and building human connections. There is a need and a purpose for an authentic bond. We both look for opportunities to help each other without expectations.
This example can be translated into a heart-filled networking blueprint for your next event. Follow these networking tips:
Networking tip #1. Focus your conscious mind.
When you’re talking to someone, where is your mind? Do you take in everything the person is saying, or do you think ahead to your next statement or what you’ll do later that day? Attention is valuable in any networking encounter. Consider how quickly your mind wanders and pay attention to counteract your mind’s wandering nature. Look into the person’s eyes and truly listen. Giving your attention is a gift of kindness because everyone desires to be appreciated and heard. You have a choice in how you engage in each conversation. Opt to be fully present in the moment.
Networking tip #2. Share your true self.
In my book Thrive: How Learning Can Ignite a New Way Forward, I refer to the self as the “true self” because many of us define ourselves based on outside influences instead of what sparks our passions. When you share your authentic self, you project energy that attracts others seeking to build meaningful connections. You don’t have to be the most impressive, the funniest, the wealthiest, the one with the most awards or the most company growth—you just have to be yourself.
Networking tip #3: Make a connection or two.
When you’re networking, you have numerous opportunities to learn about people and identify how they might help others within your network. Making introductions for others helps people who are connected to you, adding value for them. The people you’ve introduced to each other will often remember you as the one who brought them together, strengthening your relationships with both.
The next time you’re dreading a networking event, consider the opportunity for connection, keeping these tips in mind. You may be surprised to find that building connections through kindness and giving can cultivate stronger relationships than you ever expected.
Article originally published on February 13, 2025 on Inc.com.